apa cerita mu?

It was worth it!
It has been what, 9 years, since we last met. My brother Yang and wife, Yang Gemma were warm people,as ever, always try their best to make you feel at home. And they did! In seconds!
M0nah is tall, taller than I am (not that I'm very tall, 1.54m ada la hehe!) and she's one smart lady, that's for sure!

We arrived in Champaign, a day later, after spending the night in the grocery store (shop) in Carbondale. We reached there after midnight and Yang Gemma who was supposedly be sleeping was woken up by our voices and got up and greeted us. The moment we saw her, both Eman and I were crying. One thing we noticed was that she was a lot better thatn we thought she was. Apart from the right arm which is a bit stiff, she manages everything gracefully and efficiently. The next morning, I started my duty as the cook/chef. I know that she likes our Malaysian cooking, well, all 3 love malay cookings, especially the spicy ones. So, I tried my bst to make cucur tepung ( spicy, with anchovies, dried shrimp, onion, fresh prawns, chillies), cekodok, and rendang, sambal tumis, cecah kicap, air asam with tomato ( to be eaten with ikan terubuk bakar. Yang runs an oriental grocery store, so I have all the ingredients I wanted. Whatever you want; from belacan ( shrimp paste), to serai, daun limau, kicap manis, durian, kimchee (no, i don't eat them!), etc. So, I guess I have no excuse not to cook!
I even left some of the recipes for Monah or Yang to try it out. Monah even told me that aftre we left, she prepared rendang ayam for her classmates during her creative class pot luck that they have early this week. Knowing how she's one American girl who eats rice with 'chili boh'.
Oohh.. I should have prepared sambal belacan (lots of it), so they can freeze it! ;-))

We didn;'t actually travel to places like theme parks, or some fancy tourist attractions spots. ( Well, we had our grand toiur in the previous visits, anyway). Apart from going to Chicago ( the Sears Tower from afar this time!) accompanying Yang to get his supply from the distributors in the suburban area, we mainly spent the time in the garden (backyard), or going to the local mall ( Wal-Mart included, ehhe) or Monah's school ( Uni High in Uni of Illinois area). I went to see a play staged by Monah's classmates in their school auditorium, and it was a very enjoyable one.

Emak was especially glad when she had the chance to help both Yang and Yang Gemma in their rose planting activities. They planted roses around the house, just like they did last year.
In the 5-acre land they are occupying, they made a point to have an orchard , up to 100 trees: apples, peaches, plums, nectarines, cherries (yeay! love it), pears, but sadly, no grapes. But they promised to Emak that they will have grapes this time.
The apple trees have the young fruits and it will be ready to be eaten in fall. This is the 2nd time that the trees bear fruits, and the neighbours , relatives and Monah's schoolmates were the lucky ones to be invited to sample the fruits last season!

I am happy that everything goes well for Yang Gemma, especially when she ;s the one who's into gardening. No wonder she looks alright even with her history of strokes and breast cancer. I think her loves gardening, give her a spirit and determination to get up, and be there where she feel happiest. It;s a wonder that she manages to water the plants ( Yang will do the tanam and korek tanah and baja pokok-pokok itu), tend to the trees, pull out the weeds, trim the roses on her own. But as she always says " Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah".

Monah is at school from 8am-4pm. She 's in her final year in high school, and supposed to enrol in one of the Ivy League soon. Since she skipped one year, she has one extra year to be doing something else, and the parents are not rushing her to immediately starts her degree.
She's been busy with exams, and this June, she's scheduled to tour Europe, on an educational trip, Oxford and Cambridge included to have a look in some of their offered courses. Last january, she was also selected to represent her school to go to Washingt0n DC and meet the C0ngressmen, and see the g0verment-thingy-stuffs for real.
I guess,during her extra cuti, she could do with some Islamic educational class? I'll be asking around for classes in KL, if there's any. Requirenments would be with hostels, a few months durations, etc. I'm hoping there is one for her. Perkim, maybe?

Anyway, spending a week there helped us to feel re-united. I didn't talk about her cancer ( can't bring myself to ask her about it!), and didn't mention about why or how-could-you-forget-me, or i-didn't forget-u-but-i-just-couldn't..you know what I mean....

Not until when we were at the Lambert International Airport, St Louis, when I hugged her to say good-bye, we cried and she told me: "All this while when you didn't send me any news, when you just kept quiet, I was hurt" . So, she was..

I thank Allah for making this trip a reality, I thank my beloved husband for giving me this chance to do what I thought I had to do, and my children, of course, and million thanks to Yang, Yang Gemma and Monah for having us there and for making us feel right at home!
Also for giving us the opportunity to show you that we care, that we were sorry, that we love you..

apa mau ku..

I really want to write something..
I haven't had any entry since I last wrote from Champaign,IL. And I have sooo much to say.
About the trip itself, about us being there, about me and my daily traffic observations, about the decisions ( Yes,,I have made a decision, and the decision is..)

I'll write later..hopefully very soon..

from carbondale, Il, USA with love

This time, the trip is a lot better.
The way i remember it, it used to take a lot longer to reach LA , even from Narita airport.
This time, from KLIA, we flew via Taipei, and it omly took about 4 hours from KL to taipei. The next 11 and half hour was a pleasant flight from Taipei to LAX. It's only 5 hours afterward that we flew to St Louis by American Airlines, and we paid another USD 1123 for 2 round trip tickets, because according to them, our tickets are no longer valid, when the initial date was changed from 21st March to 5th May.
We ahve expected penalties, but to pay a full ticket price for both of us, (however expected) was not very nice. Huuuhuu.. .
Anyway, we arrived safely in the US, Yang saw us at the airport, and we drove back to his grocery store in Carbondale,Illinois (where Soutrhern Illinois Uni is), since he had to be in charge the next day. His 2 workers are taking the day off today. It took 3 hours to drive from the Lambert International Airport to Carbondale.
Tonight, we will be heading to Champaign, Illinois, after Yang closes his store.

At the store now, there's a PC, and internet connection. It's just great.
People are coming in and out of the store, people of different nationalities, races, and they bought breads, beans, tofu, sugar canes ( batang tebu!), brooms( penyapu gandum), sambal ikan bilis- anchovies fried with chilies?), guava, mangoesteen juice, pickled garlic, etc.
It'll be great to see Yang Gemma and Monah.

Oh yes. The first thing that I noticed when I first saw Yang, was : How old he look. he has some streaks of white hair. And I cam't stop crying when Emak said that : Kita sama-sama dah tua!

oh, i have to go. People at the cashier counter have started looking at this lady in tudung-clad, who is so busy at the PC typing...

see ya all in a week.

It's TODAY!

I'm so happy today. Well, I should. DH is coming back. Though I got his SMS that flight was 2-hour delayed, I can't stop calling his number, just to see whether he's actually arrived in KLIA.
There was no answer, guess, he'll arrive after 2pm, when the initifor our Tripal arrival was at 12.30pm.
I can't even sleep last night. I think I smiled in my sleep. hehe..
Tomorrow, we will be heading to JB, his hometown, and we're going to have aqiqah for Umar and Hafiz. It's going to be 4 goats altogether. Hoping to see some friends who live around JB, Kota Tinggi and Kluang area. I hope they can make it to our kenduri.
I would not be online, not until Thursday, maybe, because I'll be off on Monday.
Arrghh..that's not far from Saturday 5th May, kan? That's too short to prepare for our trip to the US! Tapi apa nak prepare pun? Nothing much except my clothes ( never wears abaya when travelling oversea, wonder if that's convenient?- I was always with jeans and long sleeved shirt/blouse).

Having said that, I'd better go. The news that I'll be having a 2-week vacation has spread around, so , now I'm finishing some works, in advance! snif, snif..

Last but not least " YEAAYYY!!!

I heard..

Pheww..I am so glad I did not make it to the US this time, as originally planned.
Abang Pa called from Taipei and guess what?! The MH 94 flight to LA was delayed for 4 hours.
To think that the connecting flight to St. Louis is due in 3 hours after they landed in LA?! heee....ngerii.later found out that instead of the direct American Airlines 768 to St Louis, they were routed to Chicago, boarding at 10.40pm 21st March, touch down at 4.50am, then on board to St Louis at 6.50am, arrival at 8 am, 22nd March. Can't imagine if I'm on that flight, on and off, on and off, with emak, and Lutfil (9 month-old baby), aiiyoh..

bukan sekarang

The trip is postponed to May, when DH is back for his 20 off-days . Abang Pa and kak Jun, however are busy packing their stuffs for their trip tomorrow. Good Luck, you two! Just a little reminder: do not wear a belt unless you are willing to take it off, when you are asked to do so, wear a selipar jepun, they might ask you to take your shoes off (lagi senang, apa..), no liquids/gels, whatsoever, only bring clothes that you WILL wear, not you think you'll need to wear 'in-case' of anything happens..". Hmm remember the spanish prover: "On a long journey, even a straw weighs heavy"..how true! uhh..I hope I wil remember this when it's time for me and Emak bermusafir soon.

oh ya, i love the cartoons I posted above..

One of them reminds me of mama22beas, who's specialization is in karst geomorphology (limestone fm, gua batu kapur,etc), and who also is pregnant with her 4th child, after the 3 girls she had. This time, it's gonna be a boy! hmm..I have 3 boys, so when is the girl coming??!!

bittersweet and a bit sour..

yang and monah

yang gemma and monah

The last 2 days saw me in not quite a normal state of mind.
I have made my mind that ‘No’, I’m not going.
But my conversation with Emak last Sunday was something that I couldn’t just ignored or forget. I imagined if I was on the phone, talking to Yang, how would I feel hearing him crying at the other end, would I be able to say things that comforted him, or would I just keep quiet, or do I sob, too? I have heard from many people that taking care of sick people, people with citical illinesses, requires
patience, lots and lots of it. It wasn’t easy listening to Emak’s strory as what told by Yang to her. I can say I understand Yang Gemma and how she feels, but actually I didn’t. I do not know how painful it, is going through chemptheraphy, and later foound out that your body cannot stand it, and in the end, you need to take oral medication to replace it. How painful it is , not being able to stand on your own and be the strong woman, she was once ( she is still strong , ar very determined one, I know). She was once a popular and respected teacher, once made her name in the Who’s Who list in her field. Her figure may be small, but her dreams and her achievements were big. She quit teaching, and decided that she wanted to stay at home and taught her own daughter to master
the subject/world that she knows best: world of mathematics.
She became her daughter’s chaeffeur, driving her here and there, from soccer ( yes, her daughter plays soccer), to violin class, to karate class, to Russian language class, everywhere). I once accompanied my sister to a private clinic that was referrred to her by her student’s parents (both are also medical doctors).
The nurse was not very interested in seeing us, just gave my sister a brief glimpse, and then proceeded with the formal /standard questions, till she asked about who referred her there and so forth.
Upon hearing that she was once a lecturer, and now a private high school teacher at that particular school, I saw her expressions changed. I swear that her eyes brighten up, she looked down ( the nurse, is of of course tall, very, very tall, and my sister is very very small) on my sister, and as if she hadn’t seen her before, she again looked, but with a different perception, I guess. I think she was so impressed to learn that this tiny woman is the one that has been talked so much among the parents whose children won some mathematics quizzes at the national level. I was so proud of her.
When I was in uni, she would send me boxes of books (novels, encyclpedia) from US, and she would even write captions/descriptions for the photos she sent me. Also, she made me a subscriber to national Geography magazine, I miskin masa tu, mana ada duit rm100 nak subscribe, heheh..
She even renewed it for a year after that.
Well, of course, the 2 trips I made to the US previously was made possible by her. Oh, and all my decent clothes ( blouses, jeans, slacks, boots) were bought while I was there and it last until I graduated , I think.
if not because I gained some meat later on in life, I would have worn all the clothes till now, I guess..
I didn’t even realized that she had bought me all the branded stuffs, even I myself wouldn’t have bought for me, now. I mean, I would not spend rm400 on a pair of jeans, or USD125 on a pants from Liz Clairborne. So, if you see me wearing a levi, or Calvin Klein, Rockport boots, or T-shirts, or a Liz Clairborne, it’s not from my pocket money. All were sponsored!

I had the ‘best’est time of my life travelling across the US too. I didn’t study there, though some of my friends thought I did. I studied in the UM of KL.
The first trip was with my parents and younger sister and started from the West Coast, cross-country all the way from LA,Ca to Festus, Missouri. My parents got to the southern part, and then to Orlando in Miami, crossing the other states like South Dakota, etc. I didn’t get to see Mt. Rusmore, isk, isk.
I came back earlier cause it was time to register for the Asasi Sains Hayat in UM on late June 1992.

the 3 of us

The 2nd time I was there, n a special assignment. She was scheduled for operation to remove her fibroid, and not long after that, we travelled from the mid-west to the east part of the country. It was great to see the Appalachian mountain ranges in the Pennsylvania ( among other things like the Statue of Liberty, United nation, and yes, the World Trade Centre!).
I would also remember following my bother to St Louis and Chicago spices dealer, and bigger oriental outlets there, for supplies of ketchup, japanese tofu, noodles, all sorts of nuts/spices for the indians, bermacam breads for the middle-eastern, even belacan, jalapeno, instant noodles, milo(from Thailand), even Hindi and Korean movie video tapes ( zaman tu tak famous lagi vcd nih..). It was back in 1996.
it was fun, but it was also an eye-opening experience. I knew then that it wasn’t easy for my brother making money. There he was using all his kudrat, lifting all sorts of things, smelling like spices plus belacan, all alone, driving his pick up truck to his grocery store which is like 3-hour drive from their home almost everyday. He has one or two assistants in the shops, they are only part timer. He had been cheated before , by people who also came from the nusantara, where this lady’s husband used her key to ‘break-in ‘ and stole the money. She knew but didn’t do anything. The husband then later caught by the police.

I once heard my brother told someone we met at a shop in Chicago:” My brothers are smartly dressed and they work from 8-5pm. And here I am, working like a dog”. I pity him. He has a degree in accountancy ( he studied in the US, that’s why he was there in the first place), and later did his MBA . It’s just that the economy was so bad in 1997 and he made a choice to stay in the US, and runs a grocery store. I just knew that eventhough it’s not easy for him, at least that ‘s what he wanted to do, and he is satisfied with his little store.

errkk..this is my longest post, yikess..i don’t even think I have the time to edit, so I’m just going to post this..