why the silence?

take this: I'm writing from the Gleneagles Intan Medical Centre, Jalan Ampang!
My last day was on Friday, the 29th June, and the next day, Saturday, I brought Hafiz for his check-up, and he had been having a cough for quite sometime. The doctor asked him to be warded for further blood and urine test.
He was then diagnosed with pneumonia. hmm..poor baby! DH was of course in Sudan, and 2 days later ( Monday), he arrived in KL for his 5 days emergency leave :-)
Hafiz was discharged on Wednesday, 4th July. The bad thing was, all 3 kids ( and the ibu) were not feeling well, down with fever and flu. We took turn to bring Umar and then Lutfil to the pead.
All of them were then on antibiotics and DH then was due for his course in Singapore on Saturday, 7th July.
Umar then suddenly fell sick on Sunday night, and aftre a visit to his regular pead on Monday, 9th July, still had a very high fever, and I think we didn't sleep at all that night ( Sunday and Monday). Tuesday, 10th July, I brought Umar to another pead in GMC, and he was admitted!
So, I spent my days and nights in hospital wards, for the past 2 weeks, well, almost!

I have just paid the telephone bills i was using ( ye lah, menehjut je kena admitted, charger pun tak bwk, so guna telephone bilik hospital lah) , and we'll be going home tonight after Umar got his antibiotics at 6pm.

I have to go, I promised Umar to buy some sweets, and now he's reminding me about it..

Wish us well!

PS: Abang, appointment for Lutfil has been done for tomorrow morning. Pray that he's going to be ok ( err..I mean, hopefully he's not going to be admitted). Not that i don't like the hospital food... ;-)

..and come the news..

ladies selling kissra

Thanks to grouchiosa for this article. Should we now be proud that we are about to move to one of the expensive cities in the world? Nope! (Are you kidding!)
I am nervous. I have browsed in the intenet, looking for some info for Sudan and surprisingly, one of the issues the expats are concerned about are the expensive prices of the groceries. Imagine a minimum of RM20 for chicken and RM4 for a kilo of onions (it doesn't help that i use a lot of onions, and garlic in my cooking- konon rasa lebih sedap). Luckily, we have not started our kids with fast food ( yet!). If not, the husband will have to spend RM 76 on a KFC single plate (one piece of chicken, fries and soft drink).

Morine, kalau u duduk sana and Angel is her usual self yang go for fancy restaurants every now and then, habis la you...

With US sanction, and EU , too, soon? It's not helping, at all.
Okay, I'll do this. I will definitely have to go to the internet, look for some local main ingredients that are used in local dishes, look for the recipes, and make sure I know how to prepare them. At least tak lah bengong sangat sampai sana. Plus, with the very s l o w connection we'll have there, ....just hope it won't discourage me frm blogging! :-)

This reminds me of someone was given some flax seed from Sudan, and both the guy and his wife do not know what to do with it. After asking around, he was informed that in Sudan or over Africa, they just spread the seed on their bread or rice*

*me: i thought flax seed are also great for bread making? just like what we have in the hi-fibre gardenia bread yang ada raisins, peaches, apricots etc tu , ye tak?

BTW, DH told me that, over there, only the rich eat rice. ..( sedih la dengar..)

Over and over again, to show how expensive things are there, DH will relate how he bought a Conetto ice-cream for RM11 ! okay, now I'm convinced! Looks like Umar and his siblings will stay inside the house all the time! Only tour to the local dry market ( where they have goats, camels, goat's milk, camel's milk, etc) are allowed, no shopping malls for them! hehehe..

No worries! Umar will love looking at live animals at the market, than he will at the malls!

how do you like africa, maam?

I hope that when i am asked this question in the future, i'll be positively answering it with : "O' I love it very much, can't wait to go back there!". Before I can answer that question, I guess, I have to be there, live there?! Yup! You are right, my friends! In a few months time, I will have a world map poster on the wall, and the tag "YOU ARE HERE"" will be pointing right on Khartoum, Sudan .

I am in between, can't really decide whether I'm excited ( to be able to be with DH ) , nervous and worries after warnings, after warnings, after warnings from everybody ( well, almost!). But, thanks to a few friends who have given me some very sound advices about raising children in such condition, I am,.. well, a bit calm..

* my busy brain is asking these questions: how do i pack my things, what to pack ( DH said, bring almost everything?, huh?, how to buy milk powder that will last for one year? where to get it? where to get it at a cheaper price? diaper supplies? if current maid cannot follow, so how?, is it easy to get a maid there?, stocks of medicine for the children?, what dried food to bring? how about our current house?, what will I do there? will I be okay? will the boys be okay? will I be okay if the boys are not okay?, will DH be okay if I'm not okay?, should I be bringing all my books, take with me as many books as I can, any book shops there?, if I order online, how sure it will reach me? UKS will send to sudan tak? , hehe.. what, what, what...*

It's TODAY!

I'm so happy today. Well, I should. DH is coming back. Though I got his SMS that flight was 2-hour delayed, I can't stop calling his number, just to see whether he's actually arrived in KLIA.
There was no answer, guess, he'll arrive after 2pm, when the initifor our Tripal arrival was at 12.30pm.
I can't even sleep last night. I think I smiled in my sleep. hehe..
Tomorrow, we will be heading to JB, his hometown, and we're going to have aqiqah for Umar and Hafiz. It's going to be 4 goats altogether. Hoping to see some friends who live around JB, Kota Tinggi and Kluang area. I hope they can make it to our kenduri.
I would not be online, not until Thursday, maybe, because I'll be off on Monday.
Arrghh..that's not far from Saturday 5th May, kan? That's too short to prepare for our trip to the US! Tapi apa nak prepare pun? Nothing much except my clothes ( never wears abaya when travelling oversea, wonder if that's convenient?- I was always with jeans and long sleeved shirt/blouse).

Having said that, I'd better go. The news that I'll be having a 2-week vacation has spread around, so , now I'm finishing some works, in advance! snif, snif..

Last but not least " YEAAYYY!!!

6 days and counting...

I can't wait for 27th April 2007 ! It's been , what, 70 days? Two and a half months? 10 weeks ?
It seems okay, it looks like I can manage, everything is under control! I even get to the office early, reaching KLCC usually @7.25am, surface to the G floor @ 7.40am, if I am lucky, a few friends would already be in their office in one of the towers, and i could call and ask them to join me for breakfast. Sometimes, I do have my breakfast alone, though! With one book in hand, that's fine! Good friends and good books, both make good companions, kan?

Weekends are still full of activities. My grocery lists consists of milk powder and diapers on the very top, veggies and fruits for baby's porridge, then chicken/fish and veggies for the adults at home, mainly for bibik or my mom if she's staying with me. I also make sure i have some frozen kuih in the fridge, in case i have guests coming over for the weekends. We used to borong a lot from Iwani's dealer in our neighbourhood. Iwani is one of the frozen food manufacturer, and so far, their products are ok. Apart from the pau which I like best, I also love their swedish meatballs. A few weeks ago, I bought kuih cucur badak , a frozen one, of course, a product of company called Manis. They are very good, the dough is just right, but the insides/filling is just marvellous. It's rich with coconuts, udang kering, a bit moist, a bit hot, sweet and spicy, I would say, just how i like my cucur badak to be.

But you see, with the non-stop entertainments from my children, visits from relatives ( far n near), the best cucur badak -in town ( to me lah!), it can't beat the feeling having my DH around. The time when he's not around, is killing me! Well , yes, after the kuliah subuh on Ikim.Fm, I can always switch to SinarFM or Light N Easy ( dengan DH mana boleh, heheh), i even sing Umar's songs from the taska, but still I would prefer having him on the driver's seat, with me hmm..telling him to: 'give yourself an out; not too close to the car infront; don't overtake, yet!; that was close!; or just anything.
It feels sad not to be able to say anything or not having any conversation in the car, or at home.
We speak on the phone several times ( at least twice) a day, but that is different. I can't whine on the phone ( or can, I?), i cannot gossip too much on the phone ( it's more of me telling him what's, who's, where's , when's ..)- ye lah, dia call when i am in the office in the morning, mana sesuai!. In the afternoon/evening and after midnight (the main reason why I now blog after midnight), the phone conversation are about ourselves and the kids, and the next day activities, etc. tak sempat jugak gossipp, hehe
When I do my grocery, everytime I saw a family ( ada husband, the wife and the children, I feel..sad, hollow, terkilan, it just remind me that I miss him badly). Sometimes when I am with Umar, I feel sorry for him, when I saw other kids with their father. Even when I am at hospitals or clinics, I can't stand the sight of a complete family, if I see one. I pretend I didn't see them.
Err..is it jealousy? I think so. I envy those ladies whose husbands are by their sides, no matter where they are. Whether you are Sudan, or in NZ or Rawang, Tmn Dagang, Europe or Middle East, it is a blessing !

well, can't wait for him to be back! 6 days and counting..

bukan sekarang

The trip is postponed to May, when DH is back for his 20 off-days . Abang Pa and kak Jun, however are busy packing their stuffs for their trip tomorrow. Good Luck, you two! Just a little reminder: do not wear a belt unless you are willing to take it off, when you are asked to do so, wear a selipar jepun, they might ask you to take your shoes off (lagi senang, apa..), no liquids/gels, whatsoever, only bring clothes that you WILL wear, not you think you'll need to wear 'in-case' of anything happens..". Hmm remember the spanish prover: "On a long journey, even a straw weighs heavy"..how true! uhh..I hope I wil remember this when it's time for me and Emak bermusafir soon.

oh ya, i love the cartoons I posted above..

One of them reminds me of mama22beas, who's specialization is in karst geomorphology (limestone fm, gua batu kapur,etc), and who also is pregnant with her 4th child, after the 3 girls she had. This time, it's gonna be a boy! hmm..I have 3 boys, so when is the girl coming??!!

since the last goodbye..

Emak isn't so pleased that I have to cancel my trip to the US. Apart from the fact that
the tickets for myself and Lutfil have been bought, and it's not refundable, (fixed tickets, bought during Matta Fair late last year), maybe she feels more confortable having me to take care of her. Well, my first brother (Abang Pa) and his wife are also going there, but it's not the same as having your own daughter with you, I guess. I just assured her everything will be okay, and having just Abang Pa and wife with her wouldn't be so bad. I don't want her to cancel her trip just because of me not going, do I?

My SIL (Yang Gemma) suffers from stroke and breast cancer (late stage). We first came to know about the stroke, 2 days after Aidilfitri 2003. Yang (my brother, his name is Rosli) was sobbing on the phone, and he related how Yang gemma collapsed at their home and was found by a neighbour. (Yang runs an oriental grocery store in Carbondale, Illinois) was not home, while their only daughter, Monah was at school. She was at first could not move, her speech blurred, and now Alhamdulillah is recovering, and when I last talked to her on the phone, she sounds okay. In 2005, whe was diagnosed with breast cancer, and only Allah knows, how painful it was just to hear the news. She had to go through so much, and Yang too, I know is also suffering.
And what we, the so-called relatives/siblings do? Nothing much!

I have to confess that I wasn’t a good sister when she needed me most, though. No wonder she was (and still is )so upset with me. Thus came the plan to go and see her and make up for the lost time. I owed her so much, you see. She played a big part in my growing up years, not the toddler-junior-school years, but from my teenage (after SPM) years till I became a young woman. (now 33 yrs old, dah veteran..)
But it seems that all the plans that I made and all the nervousness and enthusiasm to come face-to-face with her just dissapreared as DH wouldn’t be able to come home from Khartoum on the weeks that I was supposed to go on the trip. I cannot imagie leaving both Umar and Lutfil just with Bibik, eventhough they can stay at one of my brothers’ houses. So, it’s better not go this time, again, despite all the expenses that have been spent. Mungkin ada hikmah disebaliknya, who knows we could go some other time? Rezeki durian runtuh ke?
To Yang Gemma, maybe you thought that I have forgoten all about you, but, I actually think of you all the time and just wish that I could go and see you. I am not good at words, but you know I love you dearly..

stay on your island, don't let me in..

any hunchback?

don't ever ask about the rules..

bila mata dah layu..he was like thinking of something

him: umar tak nak kawan cikgu *****
me: kenapa?
him:cikgu ***** tak bagi umar coklat, dia cubit Umar sebab Umar main panjat pintu, macam ni..( panjat grill tingkap)
mim: kan tu bahaya, sebab tu cikgu cubit , lain kali Umar dengar cakap cikgu, okay? nanti cikgu tak marah lagi..
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(The mention about this particular cikgu always gives me an uneasy feelings. Somehow, of all the teachers there, she is the only one who, I find, not unconfortable to speak with, she avoids eye-contact, no smiles, no “Hi, or Salam” when I drop or pick up my son.
Thank god she is not Umar’s class teacher, but still she was there all the time and I freak everytime I saw her car parked in the porch at the centre. I am thinking of getting him out of the center, cause I feel that if he’s sad/sombre about his teachers, it will do him more harm.
I don’t want anybody, especially his teacher(s), to make him feel bad, and lower his self –esteem. I just don’t feel that it’s right. Teachers (besides parents) should be the ones to direct children to healthy ways of being themselves, bring out the best in every child, nurture them,
educate, guide them as opposed to physically punishing them ( tarik telinga as a punishment for the child yang tarik telinga anak2 lain, cubit perut, etc), as opposed to causing griefs ..
---------------------------------------------------------------
me: umar nak tidur, nak ibu tepuk yea?
him: umar tak kawan ibu, tadi ibu marah.
(Flashback: he , as always would stand on a chair, at our kitchen counter top, one hand in the fish bowl, the other supporting his body because he needs to bend over the counter top in order to do so .
He was just about to move the fish bowl, into the sink after complaining how dirty the water was, and that it needed to be changed. And guess who's the best person he thinks who should do it? No prizes for guessing!)
At that moment, I saw him and warned him that he might have caused
the tiles to be very, very wet and that is a potential hazard (QHSE term!) to everybody. You get the picture; hazard sebab org boleh jatuh, or Hafiz akan memainkan air yg tumpah dengan jarinya dengan girangnya, dan menerbitkan perasaan ingin merasa air itu..)

me: ibu marah sebab nanti bahaya, kalau air tumpah nanti lantai licin..
him : tapi kalau tumpah ke dalam sinki-nya, tak apa.
Sinkinya tu, kan tak tumpah ( he loves the word ‘nya’), kan tak basah.
me: yela, tapi kan berat, sebab tu boleh tumpah, kan?
him: hmm..tapi umar tak kawan ibu, umar kawan ayah aje..
(is he actually missing Ayah, though he never asks about Ayah, but would mention

occasionally like; ‘nanti ayah beli.., or nanti pergi dengan ayah,..etc)

Anyway, yang pentingnya, at the end, we are at peace , kissed him on both cheeks, he did the same to me, and we hugged.
Kesian anak-anakku!

i'm feeling blue

Tonight, after much posponing and delays, DH will finally fly to Khartoum. He 's been waiting for the order to go there, much awaited task , I guess. Me ( and the children, too, I'm sure) are happy that he's get to be on a big project, newly challenging exposure and the good things about it. We know very well that whatever he does, he does it for our best.
We'll be missing him a lot, in fact I have already missed him.
Can't wait for him to come back in next month, which he has to, because myself, baby Lutfil and emak will be going to the USA this coming March. Sigh..even the 4 days of CNY holidays can't take away the blues..